Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
