so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
