I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
