you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
