can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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