dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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