The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
