Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
