Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
You ate ashes out of my bong
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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