Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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