weddingsv make me drug and hornr
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Randomize
