apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
