Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
