So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I had to cum in my sink.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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