Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Im just a social blackout drinker.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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