I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
