it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
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