ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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