Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Randomize