I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
