It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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