i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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