Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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