i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Randomize
