TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Randomize
