Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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