is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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