it wasn't lemon gatorade
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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