I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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