you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Randomize
