hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
