I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
