They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
