Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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