it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
NoShamevember. You game?
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
did i just pee glitter
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
You did what with his pubic hair?
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