totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
