i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
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