a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
the raccoons are back...
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