How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Randomize