My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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