you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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