my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
