i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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