it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
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