God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
