I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize