Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
