wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
