when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
