friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
