It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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