My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
