Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
