the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
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