they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
