All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
