I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
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